KISS
by magi.genie
Summary: yes, another criminal minds. what can i say- merlin is on hiatus and hotch is hot. yeahhh. umm it's to 'what about lvoe' do you know something about it that i dont? R&R? ;
1. Chapter 1

.com/watch?v=EvkQTLPu8fc&feature=related based on this song - what about love by heart (epic times song) ... no this is not the whole song but it's the one i listened to about 5 billion times while writing this tiny amoutn of stuff (i dont own any of this)

more? you want more of an A/N- umm can you tell that i've gotten the song!prompt writing bug?.. cuz i did.. and there' s more to come.

umm this was beta'd!major by wren hightower with the seal of approval placed by writing2death

i have listed this as complete ..tho i think it will have either another chapter or a sequel.. so watch out of that (tho it probs wont be right away)

the title refers to the old saying 'keep it simple, stupid' .. hopefully i maintained that... who knows?

read and review? yeah.. you know you want to. (i do it about 1/60 times.. so.. dont feel bad if you dont)

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><p>Aaron rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb. It had been another hard case.<p>

They were all hard. That was the job, find the un-sub from the clues, try not to get mixed up in the high strung emotions.  
>Aaron was very used to compartmentalizing. It was the only way to keep the demons at bay.<br>He stood at the top of the bullpen, close to the stairs. He wanted to stay in the 'pen where the rest of the team was. He didn't want to be separated from them. When he was in his office, he was so far away. At first, it felt like the best way to keep things. It reminded them that he was the boss and, in a literal manner, higher than them. When they got too much and needed a break, he could go into his office and they would be down here. But 'here' is where he wanted to be. He threw his jacket over his arm and set down his go bag. He leaned against the wall and watched them as he'd done so many times before.  
>The little ants were going about their busy work. Some burrowing away at the walls of paper work standing in small mountains on their desk and some going for supplies in the kitchenette. "Supplies' referring to their need to drink more coffee than humanly possible after a case, trying to make the work go faster. Which was definitely impossible. One such worker came over to his watching spot.<br>"Did you want any coffee?" Reid spoke up as he walked over, not quite there yet and ready to turn back depending on the answer.  
>"Is it fresh?" Hotch realised after he asked, it didn't much matter. He was falling asleep on his feet. Reid had stopped walking.<br>"Yeah, Morgan just made it." He half turned back to the pot.  
>"Sure, just whitener in it, if we have it," Hotch added absentmindedly as Reid went to retrieve him a mug. "You can't drink that stuff Rossi makes. You'll not taste anything but coffee for a week. Thick as mud, it is." He unfolded his arms to take the mug from Reid.<br>"Oh, I thought that was just sludge because no one had cleaned out the coffee maker while we were gone. I'll have to tell Morgan that it's not the cleaning crew's fault."  
>Hotch took a sip from the mug, definitely not black- sludge coffee, and how did Reid know just how much white he liked? "Thanks."<br>Reid pursed his lips and smiled, turning his head as to not drink right in front of Hotch. He sort of looked around the office others were mingling, talking and laughing over their coffee mugs. No one was really doing any work. They were all tired.  
>"So, you did a great job with those locals. You always do." He kept the mug at his lip and looked over it to Aaron. He was too cute, the human mix between a cute chipmunk and a curious chimp. Those long arms, legs and adorably large eyes only added to the guise that he was some sort of amazingly smart forest creature. Aaron, of course, couldn't help but notice this.<br>"Thanks," Hotch kept it simple. He could have said more. Something more encouraging, but he didn't. Simple meant that he could ignore the lingering stares, the face, the hand, the mind. Simple meant that he could go home and see his son who had no mother and go to the bed that had no wife and he could just be.  
>But on the other hand, not simple was, "I…I umm I know, I mean, I see you. And I just don't know if you see me." What's not simple was Reid. "I can't tell you what you a..are feeling. But I think I know what you are feeling. Because..I feel it too."<br>Reid walked around Hotch to lean against the wall and side by side they stood, each holding his mug of coffee.  
>"I think you've been trying too hard. You spend too much time here. You need someone to go home to that isn't Jack. I don't know what I'm proposing here but…what about love?"<br>"I have been trying. I feel like I need be with Jack all the time, to make up for the time I've already missed out on and the time he will miss out on without… Haley. But I also feel like I need to be here.  
>I'm pretending. It's what I can do to make it through the day. I just slip up sometimes."<br>He thought of his own lingering stares after Reid and admiration of the younger agent. "And then there's you," Hotch sucked in a deep breath.  
>"So…what about love? Do you know something about it that I don't," He drew his neutral, almost stern face to question Reid.<br>He wasn't hurt per se it's just he was realising his own faults. He had not been so good at hiding his feelings. He though he had a hard time showing them…well most of them. He had 'mildly impressed', 'not impressed', annoyed, empathetic and disappointed drawn out pretty well but other ones had been hard to master and needed some work.  
>"I've been lonely," Hotch admitted. He had been lonely. It was not a lonely, lonely—he had gotten over the ache of having an empty bed a while ago but he was only able to ignore the absent place in his chest, one that came from realising you will never see the face of your first love again for so long.<br>"You are a good boss and you've worked hard for your position but I think you need something more in your life."  
>With that Reid went back to his desk and to his paper work. It's not like he had the answers and it's not like he had someone to go home to. But it got Hotch thinking- 'what about love?'<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

hey.. so...  
>it's only been 5 months<p>

count yourself lucky.

i dont know if theres anymore to say here  
>but i have lots more to say about this beautiful pairing.<br>maybe even in this verse.  
>I dont know why they love me so much<p>

umm..so i published this as a new story and as a second chapter to the other one.. just fyi.. but you can always read it twice.. cuz that's nice.

clearly i think you should R&R cuz that's nice.. but dont feel obligated.. i often write my reviews in my head. but never down on the internet

.com/watch?v=dG-2YLoAG8k is the song that i used.. i t's called wait. i love it. and clearly over tones of what about lvoe.. which you can find in KISS.

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><p>Things are only simple if you make them simple. You can strip things down til you find the most bare pieces you need to live with yourself. You have to be in control of things to make them how you want them to be.<p>

Hotch thought that if he did that, he could still manage all the things he had to balance. He thought he could do that. He could be a father and a boss. Reid didn't need to be in his mind, his life outside of work. Hotch was doing his best. But what if his best wasn't good enough? It wouldn't be the first time. Haley had left him, hadn't she?

He couldn't push the question, 'what about love?' to the back of his head. He loved his son. And he thought that's all he had time for. But maybe he could try again. Maybe he could be different.

When he thinks about everything, about every possible angle, every angle he can think of and when can, he acts. But he has to act, people are always waiting for him. They want his answer, his go, his opinion every second of every day. He never has a second to think about what he's saying 'yes' to his job, his life was just that demanding. There was no other way to put it..

Things were complicated if...Suddenly, the phone on his desk gave a buzz.. Hotch lifted his head from it's perching place atop his tense arms..then another one .. he unfolded his left arm and picked up his phone just as his most pop-y ringtone sounded. He needn't look at the caller-ID to know who was calling him. It was Penelope Garcia, all around super wiz -she deserved her own ring tone.

She always seemed to be all knowing and all seeing. He didn't have time to think about how that was possible. But it was.

"Sir?" She started off so sure. He was happy that ahe was so capable and so strong. She always knew the answers. She always had the answers.

"Something that I know about my Junior G man is that he doesn't fool around. He's trying to figure out where to go. But he's sure of how to get there. He can take everything that is thrown at him. He has proven that time and time again. But he needs a little push every now and again. He needs the motivation to get through his personal goals because they are not immediate and they aren't something he can find in a textbook or catalogue in his brain. He uses his intellect as a shield for his emotions because they are not something with boundaries, they are not something with knowledge. You know that. Don't second guess yourself. Trust yourself because... he's trying to.

"You know, not that you asked or anything, sir. I just ...thought you should know. Wait, wait til the sun shines through, wait til the sky is blue and you will wait too long. He will be gone."

"I'm just not entirely sure what you mean. I'm sure you said something, Garcia, but you talk very fast and I just don't understand."

"With all due respect sir, I think you do." Hotch leaned back in his chair and sighed as he clicked his phone off.

How does one show this emotion, love? What facial functions do they use? How do people do this? Sure, he had loved before. It all seemed too easy- then. But clearly he wasn't good enough. So, he needed to do better. Hotch sighed again. He lifted his head and lay it back down on the head rest.

He let out all that he could of what he was holding in. Nothing was certain. But maybe something was not uncertain. He would always have a child- or rather he would probably have his child. Something could happen, things are not certain. But he would grow up, that wasn't uncertain. He wouldn't always need his father every day that felt more certain. One day, Hotch could be an individual again. Jack could be a person and he could be alone. Or not.

"Sir, it's me, again. Just, I wanted to say something else. Wait til you don't doubt no more, wait til you know for sure. And you will wait too long. He will be gone." She was wrong. Reid wouldn't leave the team. Not really. So he couldn't leave him. They were a family.

Hotch let his chair swivel around the long way 'til he was clear of his desk. He got up, forgetting most of his weight behind him and standing tall. He opened the door of his office. There he stood away from them once again. So close and yet so far. He broke the distance in a few quick strides. He spotted the object of his determination. Reid was in the kitchenette. He and Morgan were standing by the fridge with the door open. They seemed to be discussing the carton of milk in Morgan's hand.

"What's going on guys?" Hotch grabbed another cup of coffee and joined them.

"This milk is overdue according to the date," Morgan answered.

"But it doesn't smell off. You know a 'best before' date is just that. It's the date a product is best before. Not the date it is due or overdue. They can be off by as much as a month depending on the type of product. I would not recommend drinking milk that was a month past the date on the carton. But as you can see it was only yesterday and there is not much left. I think it's OK to use."

"You drink it then," Morgan thrust the carton into Reid's hand.

"I don't drink milk," Reid pointed out and put the carton away. He stepped back, waiting for Morgan to move so he could close the door.

"I was worried you were in here getting more coffee. I hope you don't develop an ...attachment to the stuff."

"Well I might need some more if I am to get all of the paperwork I have to do done."

"Oh, is it a lot? I was going to ask you to join me in my office for a minute to talk."

"Well, I think I could spare a minute."

"Good." Hotch turned back to his office. Reid followed.

"You know, Garcia said something to me earlier," Hotch said after he had leaned to close the door. "She said that if I didn't step up, you would be gone. Well she didn't really say that but I think that's what she meant. It was actually kind of weird. Well, not weird for her. But I didn't have a real clue as to what she was saying."

"What did she say exactly?"

"She, um, said that if I wait too long. He will be gone. That's not all she said. But that was the confusing part. I still am not fully sure how she even knew what to say to me, but who am I to question her?"

"Well you are sort of her boss," Reid said.

"So..." he said looking down into his coffee cup as if it had all the answers. It didn't, so his eyes flickered up to Hotch. "Did you think about my question? What about love? Did you find any answers?"

"Now, I've asked you to define love before. You gave me a bunch of hormones and things... I'm sure that's all well and good. But I can't..." Hotch made an exasperated sound and a hand motion as if he was attempting to keep something within his hands. "Grasp onto that."

"Don't you want someone to care about you? What about love. The feeling, it's who you are and who you can be. It's not just an emotion powered by hormones. Don't let it slip away. I only want to share it with you. You might need it someday.

"I can't tell what you're feeling. Talk to me. I can't ask you to look back on your life and think about all the love you've had, because it's been lots- but you can't live the rest of your life without it. Don't you want someone to care about you? I know you have Jack, and family. But what about you. You need someone. Do you want me to just slip away? Maybe not right now, but you might need it someday."

"Was Garcia right? Do we have an expiration date? If I don't choose now, will I never have a chance? You say I might need it someday. But what if I need it today? The love I'm sending isn't making it through to your heart, not the way I want it to. I thought that maybe if we just knew how we felt about each other mutually then it would be OK, for now. We've been hiding, always trying to keep it under control because that's our job. We can't, I can't, do something that would jeopardize the team."

"But, I can't always be sure. Garcia was right. She's always right."

And they kissed. Because… that's what you do when you love someone and you know they are in love with you.

They stood close after knowing that it wouldn't be totally different but that someone else was writing this story because… clearly they had no control over what they did. They cared about each other and needed each other. And they knew that Hotch knew he wouldn't have to be alone.


End file.
